DECEMBER 1ST, 2024
Tonight, for the first time in ages, The Hammerstein Ballroom is alive and is practically a powder keg of chaos ready to explode. The crowd, a mix of die-hard ECW faithful and newcomers to the chaos, roars in unison as chants of "E-C-DUB" ring throughout the venue. Fans pound on the guardrails creating a deafening rhythm. The balcony teems with energy, fans leaning precariously to welcome back their beloved ECW. A sea of signs and waving arms fill the air, and just through them, we see Joey Styles and Joel Gertner standing in the center of the ring. The camera cuts to a close up shot of the two, and Joey Styles raises a microphone to address the crowd, despite the emotion on his face.
JOEY STYLES: It has been far, far too long since I've been able to say this .. Hello, everyone and welcome to ECW BARELY LEGAL!
Another roar from the crowd, but this time they break into a chant of "JOEY!".
JOEY STYLES: I am your host, Joey Styles!
Joey hands off the microphone to Joel Gertner and the fans already began to cheer for his intro. Gertner raised the microphone with the grin of a cheshire cat.
JOEL GERTNER: WELL, WELL, WELL! ... It is I, a beacon of debauchery, the sultan of salaciousness, the quintessential stud muffin Joel "... There once was a man named Musk, whose space dreams turned to ashes and dust. But when his rockets stall, I'm the man with it all, 'cause my rocket is built to combust!" .... Gertner!
The crowd pops as Gertner looks very pleased with himself. He hands the mic back to Joey and flaps his arms as the crowd breaks into another "E-C-DUB" chant.
JOEY STYLES: Ladies and gentlemen, it goes without saying that tonight is an absolutely historic night! Tonight, Extreme Championship Wrestling is back! Tonight, we shake the wrestling world to it's very core .. again! Tonight is --
SHANE DOUGLAS: First of all, you fat PERVERT...push your eyeballs back in your skull and get 'em off MY woman. How you aren't on some REGISTRY somewhere by now is beyond me. Ya know, you like to call yourself a studmuffin...but the fact IS, you probably wouldn't even make it to the end of the first QUARTER with the Head Cheerleader...so what you need to do right now is turn around...face the corner...and stare at the top turnbuckle until you're told otherwise!
Douglas points to the corner behind Gertner as Joel nervously glances over at his broadcast partner.
SHANE DOUGLAS: STARE AT IT!
Styles motions for Joel to acquiesce, which he reluctantly does with a look of shame now overcoming his face. Shane watches a few seconds longer, making sure his demands are met before turning and focusing his attention on the matters at hand.
SHANE DOUGLAS: California sunlight, sweet Calcutta rain..Honolulu STARbright, Joey Styles..the SONG remains the SAME...
Styles takes a second, shrugs, and mouths the words "good song" as Douglas continues.
SHANE DOUGLAS: I remember like it was YESTERDAY..that night many moons ago when I denounced the legacies of guys like Windham, and Brisco, and Steamboat, and Flair. I can still smell the beer, cigarettes, and sweat in the building as I talked about igniting the flame of the SPORT..of professional wrestling. I remember exactly how the lights in the rafters glinted off of the NWA World Title belt as it went crashing to the canvas, and I remember the immense PRIDE I felt as I ushered in the era of Extreme Championship Wrestling...the era of The FRANCHISE!
Francine claps and nods approvingly and a mix of cheers and boos can be heard coming from the crowd, prompting a slight smirk to appear on Douglas' face as he continues.
SHANE DOUGLAS: I took that ECW World Heavyweight Championship, and I defended it against ALL COMERS! Tired, sick, hurt, it didn't matter. Cancelled flights, flat tires..shitty hotels, shittier FOOD..it didn't MATTER! I laced up my boots and I went to WAR night in and night out, and it was MY blood, sweat, and tears that put this organization on the map! Sandman...Sabu, Terry Funk...Dreamer, Raven, Taz. You can go down the list, the 'who's who' of Extreme Championship Wrestling, and I have FACED them all...and I have BEATEN them all!
Shane turns and glances at Styles, who throws his hands up and shakes his head as if not to argue. A few inebriated fans at ringside try to start up a "you sold out" chant, which causes Douglas to walk over to the ropes closest the group and lean on the top one with his elbows.
SHANE DOUGLAS: Tell me you're not a real ECW fan without telling me you're not a real ECW fan..because if you WERE, you'd know how STUPID you sound chanting that. What it ALSO tells me is that you've never had any RESPONSIBILITIES or paid a bill in your miserable LIFE, and that your PARENTS probably bought you these nice seats so when you get back home, BE good little boys and shovel the snow, okay?
Douglas lowers the microphone and trades a couple more verbal jabs before turning back to the center of the ring. The other fans in attendance start up a "shovel my snow" chant at the hecklers, at which Shane and Francine share a look and a laugh.
SHANE DOUGLAS: So now there's a REBIRTH! Paulie decides to bring ECW back from the dead. Of course at some point Shane Douglas' name gets bandied about, and what are the headlines? What are the dirt sheets saying? What do I hear coming out of the mouths of wannabe smart marks like THESE douchebags? 'Douglas Desperate for One More Shot at Glory'...'DisenFRANCHISE the ECW' ... 'Shane's time is done, he needs to make way for the YOUNGER guys'. Well, you know what I remember most about that night all those years ago? It's those six little words I uttered ... those six little words that live on in infamy, and I think they're just as fitting NOW as they were then so join in if you know this one. They can all KISS..MY..ASS!!
Both the cheers and the boos grow louder as Douglas becomes more intense.
SHANE DOUGLAS: If you THINK for one second, that there aren't YEARS of main event talent left in this chiseled physique you see standing before you, you're WRONG! If you think for one second, that there's going to be an ECW revival anywhere on this planet that doesn't involve Shane Douglas...you're DEAD wrong. And if YOOUUU THINK...that you can truly call yourself a champion in this company..without proving it to ME inside these ropes? Well then YOU'RE GOD DAMNED DEAD STINKIN' WRONG!!"
Shane steps forward and kicks the bottom rope, which ripples around and almost gives Gertner a heart attack in the corner. He nearly turns around to see what's going on, but wisely resists the urge and stays locked in place. Francine does her best to try to calm Shane down, and for whatever reason it seems to work.
SHANE DOUGLAS: So go ahead, Joey Styles, and talk about the card tonight or whatever it IS you were about to do. Hype up this event like it's really something special, because it IS...but just make sure you tell 'em it's about to get taken to a whole new level, because THE FRANCHISE...IS BACK!!!
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: Ladies and gentlemen, our opening contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by "Little" Spike Dudley - Buh Buh Ray, D-Von - THE DUDLEY BOYS!
The Dudleys share their signature pose at the top of the entrance area, before marching their way down to the ring with Spike Dudley trailing behind him.
JOEY STYLES: Now, Joel, I know it's been since time since you've worn that headset, but we have to try our best to provide unbiased commentary.
JOEL GERTNER: It's not biased to call The Dudley Boys the greatest tandem that this industry has ever seen! It's just a fact.
JOEY STYLES: Normally, I'd argue that point with you, but unfortuantely, you might be right. Buh Buh Ray and D-Von have seen it all and done it all. But I dare say that they have never crossed pathes with a team like the one they face off with tonight.
Buh Buh Ray and D-Von enter the ring and begin to taunt the audience around ringside, which shift their nostalgia pop into reality when the fans at Hammerstein realize that they actually hate these dickheads. The crowd begins to boo relentlessly as both Bubba and D-Von continue to antagonize those at ringside. Just then, the opening screams of "The Haunted" by Walls of Jericho hits the sound system, and the mood shifts dramatically. After the music kicks in fully, the entire Age of the Fall step out from behind the curtain, led to the ring by Jimmy Jacobs. Tyler Black follows closely behind Jacobs with both Mandy Leon and Lacey at his side. The crazed Delirious crawled down the aisle, barking at random fans at ringside.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: And their opponents, the team of Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black - THE AGE OF THE FALL!
JOEY STYLES: I'm covering a lot of ground when I say this, but this ensamble of men and women might be the most unhinged group to ever grace Extreme Championship Wrestling.
JOEL GERTNER: Don't mince words, Joey. The Age of the Fall are lunatics.
JOEY STYLES: You said it, not me.
Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler enter the ring while the other members stand on the outside. There's a moment of tension as Jacobs and Buh Buh Ray begin yelling at each other from afar and try to charge at each other, but the referee is quick to restore some semblance of order and pushes both men back into their respective corners.
Suddenly, Styles is interrupted by the opening notes of one of the most recognizable theme songs in ECW history. Joey's eyes widen and his jaw drops, the microphone slowly lowering from his mouth as the fans in the arena erupt. Finally, the drums of Deep Purple's "Perfect Strangers" kick in and out from behind the curtain steps Shane Douglas, chuckling as he takes in the old familiar view. Seconds later "The Queen of Extreme" Francine walks out and joins him, inciting an even bigger reaction from the crowd. The pair slowly make their way down the aisle toward the ring and Shane hops up onto the apron first, offering a hand as Francine joins him. She makes her "signature" entrance into the ring and Douglas almost passes out, needing the help of the ropes to stay upright. He too enters the squared circle and the two join Joel and Joey, the latter of whom is still frozen in the same expression. Only after a kiss on the cheek from Francine does he snap out of it and regain his senses. Shane grabs the microphone and steps between Francine and Gertner as the music slowly fades.
Douglas lobs the microphone back to Styles before joining Francine in throwing up the Triple Threat sign. "Perfect Strangers" blasts through the speakers again, and Shane begins walking out of the ring and up the ramp. Styles and Gertner exit the ring as the camera pans around a raucous crowd.
There's a brief lull, but that is changed at the drop of a hat when The Dudley Boys theme hits and the crowd erupts and rises to their feet. There's a big time nostalgia pop before Buh Buh Ray, D-Von and Spike make their way through the curtain and out onto the stage as the ringside attendant rings the opening bell.
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Jacobs crawled to his corner, but Buh Buh grabbed him by the foot and taunted him. That is, until Jimmy caught him with a big time enziguri to the side of the head! Jacobs stumbles and tags in Tyler Black. Black exploded into the ring, ducking a wild swing from Buh Buh and hitting a barrage of strikes of his own. He capped off the strikes with a springboard clothesline that sent the Buh Buh Ray crashing down to the mat! As Buh Buh tried to get back to his feet, Black followed up with a Standing Shooting Star Press! Tyler hooked the leg. 1 .. 2 .. but Buh Buh Ray kicked out! Tyler made his way up to his feet and quickly rushed and knocked D-Von off the apron. He sized up Buh Buh and looked to deliver a Super Kick, but Buh Buh caught the attempt. He spun Tyler Black around and caught him in a big time Uranage Slam that folds Tyler Black in half! He dragged Black to the corner, tagging in D-Von. The Dudleys executed a picture-perfect double flapjack on Black, slamming him face-first into the mat. D-Von went for a pin, but Black kicked out at two, much to the dismay of those damned Dudleys. D-Von grounded Black with a chinlock, applying pressure to slow down the high-flyer. The crowd rallied behind Black, who fought to his feet with elbows to D-Von's gut. Black broke free and hit a stunning Pele kick, buying himself just enough time to tag in Jacobs. Jacobs came in like a house of fire, ducking two wild clotheslines from D-Von, and hitting him with a spinning headscissors before charging at Buh Buh on the apron, knocking him to the floor with a dropkick. Jacobs then turned his attention back to D-Von, planting him with a Short Spike DDT. Jacobs grabbed D-Von's head and looked to hit the Contra Code! He scaled the turnbuckles with D-Von's head snatched .. but D-Von instead uses his strength to reset and hit a nasty Back Drop Driver right into the turnbuckle! Jacobs clutches at his neck as Tyler Black rushes in towards D-Von. D-Von Dudley side steps him and sends Tyler Black flying over the top rope! D-Von grabs him by the head and drops him out throat first on the ropes. Tyler falls to the apron, clutching at his throat for a moment. Jacobs is now up and staggers out of the corner .. right into the waiting arms of D-Von Dudley! Buh Buh Ray slides in and with perfect timing The Dudleys have set up the 3-D! .. But Tyler Black just springboard dropkicked Buh Buh Ray and sent him flying! Jimmy Jacobs counters the flapjack attempt from D-Von Dudley and rolls through into a Sunset Pin! D-Von's shoulders are down! 1 .. 2 .. 3! WINNER: THE AGE OF THE FALL |
JOEY STYLES: What a start to Barely Legal! The Age of the Fall might have just shocked the world with that victory over The Dudleys!
JOEL GERTNER: What the hell was that? The Dudleys had this match won! Who edited this footage? Was it that damn AI?
JOEY STYLES: What are you talking about? Jacobs and Black just won that match fair and square!
Despite the protests from Gertner, and the rest of the Dudley Boys in the ring, Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black celebrate their victory in ECW's first match of the new era!
JOEY STYLES: Ladies and gentlemen, I don't even know where to begin! The man, the myth, the architect of ECW has returned to the Hammerstein Ballroom, and this crowd is losing their collective minds!
JOEL GERTNER: Jeez, Joey - you might want to wipe the brown off your nose after that one. So much for impartial broadcasting, eh, partner?
Heyman enters the ring and is quickly handed a microphone. He walks around the ring for a second, looking up at the ravenous crowd that has gathered tonight. He nods his head in approval and attempts to address the crowd, but he's drowned out with chants of "Welcome Back!".
PAUL HEYMAN: Thank you... thank you... but I don't quite think that "welcome back" is apropos. Because I never truly left. For nearly two decades, I've left a piece of myself inside of this building - this cathedral of violence! Now, I've come to collect and make my soul whole once again. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the rebirth of extreme!
There is an ungodly pop from the crowd, as cheers of "ECW" ring throughout the Hammerstein.
JOEY STYLES:I can hardly hear myself think!
JOEL GERTNER: You're not missing out on much.
PAUL HEYMAN: I look out at all of you - every drunken maniac, every hoarse voice, every weary wrestling fan who has missed this with every ounce of their being - and I know one thing: THIS is a revolution reborn! But we are not here to relive the past, we are here to usher in the future. And that is exactly why I am out here right now! What you just witnessed was world-class tag team wrestling, and that is what we intend on showcasing week in and week out when ECW Anarchy streams live on HBO MAX!
Again, a big pop from the crowd as Heyman continues to address the hard cam.
PAUL HEYMAN: Now, I did mention in the weeks leading up to tonight's event that I would be addressing just how the first champions of the new era of extreme will be crowned. Now, I'll address the ECW World Heavyweight Title and the ECW World Television Title a little later this evening, but in the wake of what we just witnessed between the Age of the Fall and the Dudley Boys, it felt appropriate to come out here and address the crown jewel of the tag team division - the ECW World Tag Team Titles.
Heyman walks towards the ringside attendant, who presents him with the pair of ECW World Tag Team Titles. Heyman proudly holds each title over his shoulders.
PAUL HEYMAN: These titles will be up for grabs in the first GRIND FOR THE GOLD SERIES - A six team, round-robin tournament designed to push every duo to their absolute limits. Let me explain how this works. Each team will face EVERY other team in head-to-head competition. Wins are worth 2 points. A time-limit draw? That's 1 point each. A loss? You walk away with NOTHING. At the end of the series, the team with the most points will be crowned the ECW World Tag Team Champions! The six teams? Well, you just saw two of them right here, The Dudley Boys and The Age of the Fall. The third team joining the Grind for the Gold Series will be the duo known as Daddy Magic and Cool Hand, Matt Menard and Angelo Parker. The fourth team will be a legendary tandem making their debuts in ECW - Hawk & Animal, The Road Warriors. The fifth team team will be Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, The Wyatt Family! And the six and final team is the tandem of "The King of Old School" Steve Corino ... And "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes - The Old School Heroes!
The crowd roars with approval! Paul tosses down the microphone at the ringside attendant and hoists the titles high in the air as the camera cuts to a graphic for the Grind for the Gold Series.
JOEY STYLES: An absolute bombshell from the boss, and we're only a few minutes into tonight's broadcast!
JOEL GERTNER: Who's the bombshell, Joey? Can you give her my number?
JOEY STYLES: This is huge news. Not only did Paul Heyman announce the Grind for the Gold Series, but he also listed off some absolutely legendary names that will be involved! And all you can only think about is pu -- you know what, never mind.
JOEL GERTNER: Huge news? Hardly. The only legendary tag team that I heard him mention was a little duo by the name of The Dudley Boys! Bubba and D-Von have the Grind for the Gold Series in the bag. They're the rightful owners of the ECW World Tag Team straps, and we are simply delaying the inevitable with this whole dog-and-donkey show.
JOEY STYLES: It's "dog-and-pony show", Joel.
JOEL GERTNER: A pony, Joey? You sick bastard...
At that point, the sound of Pentagon's theme hits the sound system and the fans begin cheering as the sly and cunning Dario Cuerto makes his way through the curtain first. After a few seconds, he steps aside and out walks Pentagon to a big ovation from the crowd. He beats his chest and flashes the "CERO MIEDO" hand sign, which draws an even louder pop from the audience. The two begin making their way down the aisle.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, making his way to the ring accompanied by Dario Cuerto, from Mexico City, Mexico - this is PENTAGON!
JOEY STYLES: Pentagon could be one of the most brutal wrestlers that we've seen walk through that curtain.
JOEL GERTNER: And I have it on good authority that he's looking to showcase that brutality here tonight. I talked to Dario Cuerto earlier tonight and he told me that Pentagon was here to send a message to everyone in the back that while Pentagon lived by the code of "Cero Miedo", they very much needed to fear him.
JOEY STYLES: Dario talked to you?
JOEL GERTNER: Oh, we go way back.
Pentagon climbed up on the ropes and again posed for the crowd, while Dario observed with a watchful eye from the outside. Suddenly, the shrill voice of Maki Itoh screaming "LET'S FUCKING GO, WHO IS THE CUTEST IN THE WORLD? ITOHCHAN!!" blares over the sound system, followed by her entrance theme. The crowd all direct their attention to the curtain and all pop when Maki Itoh bursts through the curtain with two middle fingers in the air already. With a scowl on her face, she emphatically pushed one of the birds at Dario Cuerto, and then another at Pentagon. But then, she playfully smiled and waved the two middle fingers at the crowd.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: And his opponent, hailing from Fukuoka, Japan - this is MAKI ITOH!
JOEY STYLES: Even on the island of misfit toys, Maki Itoh is one of the more ... eccentric ... personalities of the bunch!
JOEL GERTNER: Oh, I like her.
JOEY STYLES: Don't let the cutesy demanor fool you. Not only does Maki Itoh have a cranium that might as well be made of steel, but she's also one of the toughest competitors to come out of Japan in quite some time!
JOEL GERTNER: Oh, I really like her.
Maki Itoh salutes the crowd, and then sprints down the aisle and immediately into the ring, where the referee calls for the bell!
As the two teams have bailed out of the ring and made their way to the back, the ECW theme begins to play over the sound system. Fans pay it no mind since it's been played multiple times throughout the day, but the second that Paul Heyman walks through the curtain, the entire Hammerstein Ballroom explodes. His gray suit was covered by his black trench coat, his trademark black cap perched firmly atop his head. His face wasz a canvas of emotion part smirk, part sneer, but his eyes glistened with the unmistakable sheen of someone who has come home. Heyman marches down the aisle way, as the fans slap him on the back.
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A slight smile crosses Itoh's face after being pie faced by Pentagon. She walks around him in a circle before putting her hand out and gesturing they lock up in a test of strength. Penta reaches his hand out and it quickly met with a middle finger right before Maki screams something in Japanese and hits Pentagon with a low blow, kicking him right between his legs! Penta crumbles down onto the mat, dropping to his knees. Immediately, Itoh bounces off of the ropes and hits Pentagon with a swift Shining Wizard to side of the skull. She goes for the quick cover; 1...2...PENTA KICKS OUT AT TWO AND A HALF! Maki slams her fists down on the mat before getting up to her feet. She eagerly claps her hands together as the crowd starts to get behind her, cheering her on. Itoh grabs onto Pentgon's legs and start to apply the Itoh Special but Penta uses his lower body strength to push her off, tossing her half way across the ring. He quickly gets up to his feet only to have Maki charge at him full speed but she's met with a brutal clothesline that flips Maki inside out as she is folded into a heap on the canvas. Without a second of hesitation, Pentgon lifts Maki up off of the mat, and quickly sticks her head in between his legs, setting her up for what is seemingly going to be a package piledriver. Again, Penta yells out "Zero Miedo" when all of sudden "For Whom The Bell Tolls" by Metallica blasts over the sound system. Nick Gage then comes running out from the back wheedling a steel chair. He slides into the ring and cracks Penta over the back with the chair, forcing Pentagon to drop Maki and kneel over in pain. As Penta gets back up onto his feet, Gage rears back and cracks him over the skull with the chair, the sound echoing throughout the entire arena. Penta is layed out cold as Nick Gage picks Maki Itoh up and draping her over Pentagon as the ref begins to count; 1...2...3! WINNER: MAKI ITOH |
"Brooklyn The Hole" by Maki Itoh starts to play over the PA system as Gage picks Maki up, and makes sure she's okay. Gage is hyped up and walks around the ring, before demanding a microphone. After a few seconds, he's finally given one. Nick is huffing and puffing, but raises the microphone to his mouth and starts yelling.
NICK GAGE: Pentagon! You pussy ass mother fucker. Zero fear? More like zero fucking balls to attack a woman like that, you bitch ass! But you fucked with the wrong one, mother fucker! Homegirl is part of the MDK Gang, and when you fuck with any member of MDK, you fuck with everyone in the fucking MDK. So watch your fucking back! Cuz from now on, you or anyone who pulls that kind of pussy ass shit; it's on sight, mother fuckers!
Maki Itoh is holding her head as she lumbers out of the corner towards Nick Gage. She request the microphone from him.
MAKI ITOH: MDK all day...mother fucker!
The crowd pops as she tosses down the microphone and throws her middle finger into the air. Nick Gage gives her some knuckles, as he helps her out of the ring and back up the ramp.
JOEY STYLES: You heard it here first, folks. Maki Itoh, gang-affiliated! Who would have thunk it?
JOEL GERTNER: I can't believe Paul Heyman is hiring convicts now!
JOEY STYLES: I always kind of assumed it was prerequisite?
The camera pans around the Hammerstein Ballroom as the fans are eagerly awaiting what will happen next. They don't have to wait very long as "Last Resort" hits over the sound system and immediately "Sick" Nick Mondo makes his way through the curtain, with a gleam in his eye.
JOEY STYLES: Oh, boy. This next match is going to be something brutal, especially because I think that this psychopath might have a point to prove tonight.
JOEL GERTNER: "Sick" Nick Mondo returns to the wrestling world after 20 years. He's a diabolical piece of shit that would have likely fit right in with the original ECW, but he just missed the boat. And now, that's his opponenet's problem!
JOEY STYLES: You're exactly right. Mondo looks like he's ready to make up for lost time!
Mondo is hyped up, as he makes his way around the ring and interacts with the fans at ringside. He enters the ring, slaps his chest and climbs up on the turnbuckle to pose.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, 'SICK' NICK MONDO!
Mondo jumps off the ropes and readies himself for battle. After a few seconds, the cold and eerie entrance of Lucien Kross begins to play over the sound system in the Hammerstein Ballroom, and the mood shifts dramatically. 'Sick' Nick Mondo sits perched on the top rope and calls for Lucien to hurry up and get to the ring. Kross, however, is on his schedule and let's the anticipation of his debut build to a fever pitch. Finally, after a few seconds, the siren that is Lilith appears through the curtain, which draws a tremendous amount of attention from the ECW faithful. She leads Kross through the curtain, and the duo stand at the top of the entrance ramp and pose together.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Lilith, this is LUCIEN KROSS!
JOEL GERTNER: ...Great googly moogly
JOEY STYLES: Fawn all you want, but I recommend keeping your distance, Joel. That woman is down right dangerous!
JOEL GERTNER: Well, that's just how I like 'em!
JOEY STYLES: I highly doubt that.
Kross is led to the ring by Lilith, and the crowd cat-calls her loudly. The two make their way down the aisle...
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Kross gives him another chop and mixes things up with a big time knee to the gut. Kross charges his shoulder and drives Mondo into the turnbuckle. Now, with Mondo right where he wants him, Kross begins unleashing a barrage of chops, punches and forearms. After teeing off for a bit, Kross then grabs Mondo by the throat, and beals him across the ring! Mondo rolls through and crashes to the mat! Kross is quick on the attack and hoists him up in a Gorilla Press Position and drops him over the top ropes, causing Mondo to flat flat on the concrete outside the ring! Holy shit! Kross takes a second to bask in his handiwork, as he stares at Lilith who mouths something inaudible to him. Kross exits the ring and goes back on the offensive. Mondo is trying to pull himself back up to a vertical base, but Kross is there to deliver another stiff shot to the back. Kross goes to whip Nick into the steel steps, but Mondo has the wherewithal to jump up on the steel steps and leap back, delivering a big time back elbow to the jaw of Lucien Kross! 'Sick' Nick Mondo immediately goes on the offensive, and searches for some plunder underneath the ring. He quickly pulls out a kendo stick and the crowd pops. He swings it wildly and cracks Kross across the ribs and back! He adds the cherry on top and cracks Kross right over the dome with it! Mondo has enough of that and pulls out a steel chair! Again, the crowd pops and "Sick" Nick Mondo goes on the offensive yet again, despite Lilith's protests. He swings the chair and jabs it into the ribs of Lucien Kross! Mondo raises it over his head and whacks Kross over the back with it, as the fans cheer loudly. As Kross arches his back in pain, Mondo throws the chair down and goes back under the ring to look for more weapons. This time, he pulls out a bundle of lighttubes and the fans go nuts! "Sick" Nick Mondo approaches Kross with a bundle of about 8 tubes, and he readys his swing. He rears back .. but Lilith jumps in front and holds out her arms! The crowd boo's as Lilith asks Mondo to rethink his strategy. He shakes his head and shoves her aside. But this was the moment that Kross needed! He blasts Mondo with a Bicycle Kick that shatters the tubes across "Sick" Nick Mondo's chest! There's an explosion of glass and the fans go wild! Mondo's chest is busted open and is dripping blood. Kross pushes Mondo into the ring and follows in after him. He hoists him up for a nasty Saito Suplex .. but Mondo won't stay down! He fires up and throws a wild strike, but Kross evades it .. and locks it The Eternal's Embrace! He wildly shakes "Sick" Nick Mondo around and we see Mondo's body go limp! He's out cold! The referee calls for the bell and tries his best to get Kross to break the hold! After a few seconds, he finally does and flings Mondo's lifeless body down to the canvas. WINNER: LUCIEN KROSS |
JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD! What a war! "Sick" Nick Mondo introduced those lighttubes into the match and he paid the price! But I have a feeling that Mondo didn't care much about winning or losing tonight. He just wanted to make sure that he still had a pulse!
JOEL GERTNER: Nothing gets the blood pumping like lighttubes! Well, except for Lilith.
JOEY STYLES: Settle..
Kross stands over the fall "Sick" Nick Mondo and poses with Lilith, as the fans boo loudly. Kross looks down and looks satisfied with himself as Mondo is slowly coming too and realizing that the match is over. The referee tries to talk some sense into him, as we see Kross and Lilith exit the ring and head back up the ramp.
JOEY STYLES: Folks, we interrupt this incredible night of action to bring you some truly groundbreaking news. Joel, it is official - ECW is back on the airwaves! Starting in just two weeks, we unleash ECW Anarchy, streaming live every two weeks on Max!
JOEL GERTNER: Oh, Joey, I've been waiting for this moment! You talk about groundbreaking? You talk about history-making? ECW Anarchy is going to blow the roof off the wrestling world! The most extreme brand in professional wrestling isn't just coming back - it's taking over, and we're doing it one live broadcast at a time.
JOEY STYLES: This is a bold, fresh take on what made ECW the most revolutionary wrestling company on the planet. Every two weeks, we'll bring you the most unfiltered and unpredictable action in professional wrestling. And it's all happening live on Max!
JOEL GERTNER: And Joey, let's talk about the word 'Anarchy', because that's not just a catchy name. That's a promise! No rules, no restrictions, and absolutely no mercy. You think you know extreme? Trust me, you haven't seen anything yet. ECW is about to take the word to a whole new level.
JOEY STYLES: Our next contest features two men who are very familiar with one another.
JOEL GERTNER: That might be the understatement of the broadcast so far, Joey. Mike Awesome and Mikey Whipwreck are more than familiar with one another, they downright despise one another!
JOEY STYLES: Both men have quite the storied past, but tonight, they'll clash one more time! This match might really live up to the name of "Barely Legal".
JOEL GERTNER: Nice plug.
JOEY STYLES: They don't call me 'the voice of ECW' for nothin'.
Mike Awesome's theme hits and the crowd rises to their feet to welcome The Career Killer back to the land of Extreme. Before Awesome hits the curtain, the honorable Judge Jeff Jones bursts through the curtain and starts barking orders at the crowd. The crowd pops when Mike Awesome makes his entrance, as he beats his chest and lets out an intimidating roar. Judge Jeff Jones leads Awesome down the entrance aisle, sheidling him away from the crazed fans.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, making his way to ring accompanied by Judge Jeff Jones, hailing from Tampa, Florida - this is MIKE AWESOME!
JOEY STYLES: The judas has returned home...
JOEL GERTNER: Oh, I'm sorry, what happened to "impartial broadcasting"? Not so easy now, is it? Get off your high horse, Styles! You better put over Mike Awesome as being one of the most dominant ECW Champions that this company ever had! You better put over the fact that Mike Awesome is an absolute tank of a man! You be--
JOEY STYLES: Alright, we get it, you're a brown noser!
As Mike Awesome poses again for the hard cam and raises his hands high in the sky, his theme is cut off much to his dismay. "Sinister Music" kicks in and immediately The Sinister Minister has appeared at the top of the entrance area. He pulls back and the curtain, and out walks a very twitchy and nervous looking Mikey Whipwreck, which draws a huge pop from the crowd. He tries to argue with the Sinister Minister, but it's no use. He pushes him towards the ring with the waiting Mike Awesome chomping at the bit to get his hands on him.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: And introducing his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by The Sinister Minster, from Buffalo, New York - MIKEY WHIPWRECK!
JOEY STYLES: Look at Mikey, he doesn't look very sure of himself here tonight.
JOEL GERTNER: When have you ever known Mikey Whipwreck to be a beacon of confidence, Styles? He knows he's about to be decimated by Mike Awesome. He's being walked to the gallows!
Mike Awesome is pacing back and forth, ready to devour Mikey Whipwreck. Mikey grabs the bottom rope and goes to pull himself into the ring, before trying to barter with the Sinister Minister one last time. The Sinister Minister shakes his head and Mikey sighs deeply before entering the ring.
The camera cuts back to the commentary station where Joey Styles and Joel Gertner are both trying to compose themselves after the wild brawl that they just witnessed.
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Mikey struggles to his feet, clutching his neck, but Awesome stays relentless. He scoops Mikey up and plants him with a nasty Scoop Slam, before rolling out of the ring to grab a steel chair, much to the delight of the ECW faithful. As Awesome returns, the referee tries to intervene (not really), but Awesome brushes him aside and swings for the fences. Mikey moves out of the way and the chair shot catches the turnbuckle instead. Enraged, Awesome turns to swing the chair again .. but Mikey catches it with a dropkick that pops it right back into Awesome's face! Seizing the opportunity, Mikey fights back with a flurry of desperation strikes and staggering Awesome momentarilly. He capitalizes with a surprise FrankenMikey, sending the big man to the mat. The crowd comes alive as Mikey hops up to the top rope and unleashes a missile dropkick that catches Mike Awesome right in the mouth. Even still, Awesome powers out of the ensuing pin attempt at two, and does so with a ton of power. Frustrated but determined, Mikey scales the top rope for another high-risk maneuver of his own at the instruction of The Sinister Minister. He leaps off for a Diving Crossbody, but Awesome catches him mid-air like a ragdoll and counters with a Sit-Out Awesome Bomb! Mikey's head bounces off the canvas with a sickening thud! But, somehow and someway, Whipwreck gets his shoulder up at 2.9! This only serves to piss off Mike Awesome, who yanks Mikey Whipwreck up by his hair and hoists him up. He drops him for another Awesome Bomb and Mikey is folded on his neck! After he crumbles in a heap, Mike Awesome walks over and places his foot on his chest, and raises his hand in victory as the refere counts. ... But again, at 2.999, the referee's count is interupted by Whipwreck's shoulder gently lifting off the mat! Mikey won't die! But Mike Awesome is going to try his damndest to kill him! He hoists him up for another Awesome Bomb .. but Yoshihiro Tajiri has suddenly appeared and has jumped up on the apron! Judge Jeff Jones goes to stop him, but Tajiri kicks him right in the face and sends him flying. Awesome flings Mikey Whipwreck's carcass across the ring and turns his attention to Tajiri. Awesome pushes the referee away and goes to attack Tajiri .. but Tajiri hits him with green mist! The crowd cheers as Tajiri sticks his tongue out and then delivers a wicked kick to the dome of Mike Awesome, before hopping off the apron! Mike Awesome clutches at his eyes, trying to restore his vision, while Mikey Whipwreck manages to pull himself up and is in the right place at the right time, which happens to be the story of Mikey's career! He immediately gives Mike Awesome a low-blow shot, which the crowd pops for! Whipwreck grabs Mike Awesome from behind and pulls him down for a School-Boy pin, and he pulls the tights for extra measure! The referee counts three and somehow, someway Mikey Whipwreck just defeated Mike Awesome! WINNER: MIKEY WHIPWRECK |
JOEY STYLES: WHAT!?! OH MY GOD!
JOEL GERTNER: What did we just see, Joey?!
JOEY STYLES: The upset of a lifetime! Mikey Whipwreck just beat Mike Awesome!
JOEL GERTNER: Albeit with some assistance on the outside, a punch to the groin and a handful of tights - but Mikey got the job done!
Mikey Whipwreck has bailed out of the ring and rejoined Yoshihiro Tajiri and The Sinister Minister in the aisle and are celebrating their victory. Inside the ring though, Mike Awesome is wiping the mist from his eyes and is furiously pounding the mat and protesting the match ending with the referee. Mike Awesome continues to argue with the referee about the match result, but the referee is standing by his decision. Mike Awesome stands up and grabs the referee by the collar, but the referee isn't standing down and tries to remind him that he's an offical and not a wrestler. Mike Awesome lets him go and continues to wipe away his eyes of Tajiri's poison mist.
JOEY STYLES: Cooler heads prevail after a match that ended in some co--
JOEL GERTNER: LOOK OUT!!!
Mike Awesome shakes his head and spins the referee back around, swiftly gives him a boot to the gut and hoists him up for an Awesome Bomb! He walks him around the ring for a second .. before running with him and dropping him through a table near the ring! HOLY FUCK! He just Awesome Bomb'd a referee through a table!! Mike Awesome and Judge Jeff Jones exit the ring and up the ramp, clearly upset about what has transpired here tonight...
JOEL GERTNER: We've got a zebra down!
JOEY STYLES: This damn psychopath! He just can't accept the fact that just maybe, he was bested tonight by someone like Mikey Whipwreck!
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: The following contest is schedule for one fall. Introducing first, from Yorktown Heights, New York, this is MANDY ROSE!
JOEL GERTNER: You know, Styles .. I got her number earlier.
JOEY STYLES: Was it attached to a restraining order?
JOEL GERTNER: I'll have you know that the State of New York found that I am a merely a bird-watcher!
JOEY STYLES: A Golden Goddess like Mandy Rose wouldn't come within 20 feet of a scumbag like you!
Mandy walks down the aisle, intentionally pulling away from fans who are trying to touch her. She quickly enters the ring, and poses for the hard cam. Her music is quickly cut off by the haunting theme of Bloodlust. Kevin Thorn leads Ariel out of the curtain and onto the entrance way. The two share a charged moment, before walking down the aisle together.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: And her opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Kevin Thorn, she is a member of Bloodlust, this is ARIEL!
JOEY STYLES: Did you get her number, too?
JOEL GERTNER: Um, no thank you. I like my blood and my organs inside of me. Well, except for one..
JOEY STYLES: How do you have a job? Who gave you that headset?
Ariel enters the ring as Thorn stands on the outside. The referee checks to see if both athletes are ready for the match to begin. Both give a nod of approval, and this one is underway as the ref calls for the bell.
As the carnage clears from the ringside area with the help of some backstage crew members, the camera pans around the arena, getting some shots of crazed (and likely drunken) fans celebrating the return of ECW. Suddenly, "TOXIC" is heard echoing through the PA system. The crowd directs their attention to the entrance way and for good reason. The smokeshow that is Mandy Rose was standing posed at the entrance ramp, flaunting off what she was blessed with. The crowd goes wild with cat-calls and whistles. Mandy looks like she enjoys the attention, as she continues to pose.
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Mandy shouted, mocking Ariel as she stalked her fallen opponent and arrogantly scrapper her boot across Ariel's face. Ariel tried to crawl toward the ropes, but Mandy grabbed her leg, and yanked her back into the center of the ring. She dropped a series of methodical elbow strikes to Ariel's back. Mandy pulled Ariel up again, this time locking in a tight abdominal stretch, leaning into the hold to showcase her strength. Ariel grimaced in pain, flailing helplessly as Mandy added insult to injury by taunting her further. The referee checked on Ariel, but before she could even think of a counter, Mandy released the hold and quickly deliver a Scoop Slam to Ariel. She tried to cover, but only got a two count. This might have only served to anger Mandy Rose, who stood up and started to deliver a flury of stomps to the back and head of Ariel. Mandy Rose picked her up by the hair and whipped her with intensity into the opposite turnbuckle. Ariel's back crashes with a sick thud and she collapses on the mat. Mandy is quick on the attack, as she pulls Ariel up by the hair again, except this time, she's looking to end things. Mandy Rose hooks her by the arms and hosits her up .. and drops her with The Bed of Roses! Ariel crashes face first into the mat, and Mandy Rose turns her over and hooks the leg for the pin. The referee counts! 1 .. 2 .. 3! This one is over! Mandy Rose jumps to her feet to pose some more, as Kevin Thorn collects Ariel with a look of disdain on his face. WINNER: MANDY ROSE |
JOEY STYLES: Mandy Rose looked dominant against Ariel here tonight!
JOEL GERTNER: I'd like to see what she does against ... stiffer competition.
JOEY STYLES: You really never stop, huh?
JOEL GERTNER: What? All I'm saying is that Ariel was flaccid competition for someone like Mandy Rose!
JOEY STYLES: Oh c'mon, that's a stretch.
Mandy Rose takes a few more seconds to pose in the ring, eating up all of the attention from the ECW faithful.
Static hits the screen for a second, before we swing to a shot of Paul Heyman standing in the backstage area. He's standing in front of an ECW backdrop, and once he's given the signal that the camera man is rolling, he pulls his headset down around his neck and smiles at the camera.
PAUL HEYMAN: I want to take a second to thank you for allowing us in your home this evening. I do not say this lightly, because without YOU - Extreme Championship Wrestling does not exist, no less a relaunch some 20 years after the fact. And as the creative director, or as some may say 'the mad scientist' responsible for the resurrection of the most revolutionary and most REAL brand in the history of professional wrestling, I understand how important my role is in providing you people the absolute best that this industry has to offer. It’s about defying the status quo, ripping up the rulebook, and giving YOU - the fans who never stop believing - a product that is UNAPOLOGETICALLY REAL! Which brings me to tonight's announcement. Because to build this future, we need champions who can carry the torch of extreme greatness. And I can think of no better way to crown these champions than through the crucible of competition!
Paul Heyman reaches over and picks up a velvet sack. He unties the draw string and pulls out the ECW Television Championship, which draws a pop from the audience.
PAUL HEYMAN: The ECW World Television Championship - it's so much more than just a title; it is the heartbeat of this company. Its lineage is etched in blood, sweat, and determination. From Rob Van Dam redefining excellence with every match to Taz embodying the spirit of relentless domination, the TV Title has always been a proving ground for those who dared to give everything for this business. The ECW World Television Championship represents the hunger to become immortal in the eyes of this audience. And as we forge ahead into a new era of extreme, this title will once again become the standard of excellence, the benchmark for greatness, and the symbol of everything this company stands for. I am excited to announce the first ever BROADCAST BLITZ TOURNAMENT! - an 8-person tournament to crown a new ECW World Television Championship!
The crowd pops as Heyman smiles and places the ECW World Television Championship on the table next to him.
JOEY STYLES: Big news from the boss again! The Broadcast Blitz will determine our first Television Champion of the new era!
JOEL GERTNER: How do I get my name in the hat?
Heyman again reaches over to the table near him and pulls out another velvet sack. He begins to undo the draw string and this time, he pulls out the ECW World Heavyweight Championship, which draws an even bigger reaction from the crowd.
PAUL HEYMAN: This is no ordinary championship. No, this is the ECW World Heavyweight Championship, and it stands for everything extreme. It represents every blood-soaked war, every ladder climbed, every table broken, and every single soul that stepped into the ring and declared, 'I am willing to sacrifice everything for greatness.' From Terry Funk's heart and grit to Shane Douglas redefining the very essence of what a world champion could be, to Raven and Sandman waging wars that transcended the squared circle, the ECW World Heavyweight Championship has always been a symbol of unmatched excellence. This is a Championship that commands respect because it is not given - it is earned. In this new era of ECW, the World Heavyweight Championship will once again be the prize for those who dare to push their bodies, minds, and spirits beyond their limits. It is the ultimate reward for the ultimate warriors, and it will be decided in the first ever EXTREME CLASSIC, a 16 person tournament where the last remaining survivor will reign supreme over the ECW landscape.
JOEY STYLES: Even bigger news from the boss! The Extreme Classic is going to determine the new era's first ECW World Heavyweight Championship!
JOEL GERTNER: I'm god damn serious, Styles. How do I get my name in the hat?
Heyman puts the ECW World Heavyweight Championship down on the table and continues to address the camera.
PAUL HEYMAN: The 16 athletes that have been selected will be announced via social media in the coming days. Here's the catch though. The 8 individuals that are eliminated in the first round of the Extreme Classic? Well, they'll be the 8 entrants in the Broadcast Blitz. To the men and women in the Extreme Championship Wrestling locker room, the playing field has just been leveled. Which of you will rise to the top?
Heyman puts his headset back on and smirks.
PAUL HEYMAN: Enjoy your main event.
The trademark ECW static hits the screen and Heyman disappears, and we cut back to the commentary team at ringside.
JOEY STYLES: Well, it looks like the pathway to all of the gold in ECW have just been made very clear!
JOEL GERTNER: Like Paul E alluded to, it's a level playing field and it really could be anyone of these ingrates that seizes the opportunity to become the next ECW World Heavyweight Champion.
JOEY STYLES: Or the Television Champion! The 16 selected participants are all certainly going to be gunning for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship, but if they should fall short, they'll still have an opportunity to contend for the ECW World Television Championship. And you would have to imagine that notching a victory in tonight's main event would go a long way towards punching your ticket to the Extreme Classic!
JOEL GERTNER: A triple threat main event that has a lot of combustible elements, Joey. Let's light the fuse!
Just then, Raven's theme begins to play over the sound system and the fans all rise to their feet to welcome back an ECW Original. After a few seconds of "Come Out and Play", Raven appears through the curtain and the fans begin to cheer wildly, giving him a true hero's welcome.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: The following contest is your main event of the evening, and is a Three Way Dance scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, this is RAVEN!
JOEY STYLES: Here we go, Joel! It's time for the first main event of the new era. The feeling in the Hammerstein Ballroom is electric!
JOEL GERTNER: The prodigal son of pain and misery has returned, Joey! And you can feel the energy - or maybe it's dread - oozing out of this building right now!
JOEY STYLES: There's no one quite like Raven, Joel. He's a walking contradiction - a genius wrapped in chaos. And look at him, he hasn't lost a step. That cold, vacant stare; the tattered leather jacket; the unbothered demeanor ... it's like he stepped out of 1996 and back into his domain!
Raven pauses at the top of the ramp, his head bowed as his greasy hair covers his face. He slowly raises his arms in his signature crucifix pose, and the crowd grows louder. Raven takes a second to saunter down the aisle, before rolling into the ring and sitting on the ground, up against the turnbuckle. Just then, the infamous theme of Cactus Jack hits the sound system and the fans cheer even louder. The camera pans to the entrance as Cactus Jack steps out, wearing his tattered flannel shirt over a "Wanted: Dead" t-shirt, a deranged grin plastered across his face. He raises an arm, clutching a barbed-wire bat and waving it wildly as the fans go bonkers!
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: Introducing the second competitor, from Truth Or Consequences, New Mexico - this is CACTUS JACK!
JOEL GERTNER: And there he is in the flesh, Joey! The man who doesn't just enjoy pain - he lives for it! Cactus Jack doesn't walk to the beat of his own drum; he smashes the drum over someone's head!
JOEY STYLES: This is a man who has left a trail of destruction wherever he's gone, Joel. Japan, WCW, here in ECW, even in the WWE - Cactus has spilled blood all over this globe, both a mixture of his own and those who dare oppose him!
Cactus Jack pauses halfway down the ramp, looking out at the rabid ECW faithful. He gives them his signature "Bang! Bang!" taunt, and the crowd responds in kind. Cactus jumps onto the apron and eyes Raven, who is unwavering and stays seated in the corner. Suddenly, the lights dim, and “Judas” by Fozzy hits the speakers. The crowd erupts into a chorus of boos.
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: And the finla competitor, he represents the Jericho Appreciation Society, this is CHRIS JERICHO!
JOEY STYLES: Maybe I was the delusional one, but tell me we don't have to deal with this version of Chris Jericho in ECW!
JOEL GERTNER: Oh, it's him, Joey, and I couldn't be happier! The "Influencer", the "Wizard", the man who has more nicknames than most people have brain cells - Chris Jericho has arrived, and you know that the Jericho Appreciation Society isn't far behind!
The curtain parts, and Jericho struts out in a shimmering sequined jacket and designer scarf, wearing his trademark smug grin. He pauses at the top of the ramp, raising his arms as the crowd continues booing him.
JOEY STYLES: Look at him. Strutting around like he owns the place. This isn’t the "Lionheart" or even the "Ayatollah of Rock n' Rolla" This is the most self-absorbed, egotistical, and delusional form of Chris Jericho that we have ever seen!
JOEL GERTNER: And God bless him for it!
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Jericho then saunters onto the ring apron and begins to jeer both of them, saying "That's it! Punch him in his stupid face!" Upon hearing that, both Cactus and Raven stop punching each other momentarily. They shoot each other similar looks as they both charge Chris Jericho, shoulder checking him off of the apron as he flies into the metal guard rail on the outside and falls limp onto the floor. Then without a seconds hesitation, Raven and Cactus Jack go back to brawling, throwing repeated fist after first to each other heads and face as Cactus starts to get the better of the exchange. He backs Raven into the corner as he keeps clubbing him. Raven tries to duck and cover up in the corner as Cactus continues to unload a barrage of punches to Raven's upper back and torso. As Raven begins to wilt, Cactus Jack hits his signature "Bang Bang" pose, shooting off guns with each hands when out of nowhere Chris Jericho sneaks up from behind and rolls Cactus up with a Schoolboy pin; 1...2; Cactus quickly kicks out right after two. Cactus Jack then turns his attention over towards Chris Jericho. Cactus lunges at him but Jericho quickly rolls underneath the bottom rope, exiting the ring once more. But before Cactus can even react, Raven attacks him from behind, hitting him with a vicious forearm shot to the back of the head that forces him into the ring ropes. As Cactus Jack stumbles back against the rope, Raven grabs him from behind and hits a quick Russian Legsweep. He floats over for the cover; 1...2.; Cactus Jack kicks out at two. Raven turns to the ref and gestures a three count but the referee insists it was a two count. Raven then gets up to his feet when suddenly Jericho trips him, pulling him out from underneath the bottom rope before Irish Whiping him into the metal guard rail. Chris Jericho rolls back into the ring and begins to stomp on a partially downed Cactus Jack. Jericho repeatedly kicks him in the head, knocking him back down to the mat with each kick as he yells out "Stay down, you son of a bitch!" But Cactus keeps attempting to get back up which only seems to infuriate Chris even more. Jericho runs off of the ropes and hits Cactus with a brutal kick to the midsection, knocking the wind out of him in the process. Cactus attempts to crawl towards the rope and pull himself up and Jericho follows him. He proceeds to stomp away on Cactus Jack when out of nowhere Raven gets up onto the apron and guillotines Jericho neck first on the top rope. Chris clutches at his neck as he hits the mat and immediately rolls out of the ring to try and catch his breath. Meanwhile Raven steps back into the ring and starts to pummel Cactus Jack with kicks and knees to his downed opponent whos covering up in the corner. Raven hits Cactus with a barrage of rabid strikes before rolling out of the ring, lifting up the ring apron and after a few second pulls out a fire extinguisher, much to the fans enjoyment. The crowd begins to cheer "ECW" repeatedly once more as Raven rolls back into the ring. Just then Cactus Jack begins to stir, slowly getting back onto his feet as Raven charges at him. He swings the extinguisher at Cactus' head but Cactus Jack ducks just in the nick of time, forcing Raven to hit the ropes with the fire extinguisher and bouncing back to hit him in the face. Raven immediately drops the extinguisher and turns around just in time to be met with a kick to the mid section. As Raven is doubled over in pain, Cactus Jack hooks both of his arms and hits him with a devastating Double Arm DDT! Both men come crumbling down onto the canvas, Raven taking the brunt of the fall as Cactus goes for the cover; 1...2...Raven kicks out right before the three count! A big grin crosses Cactus Jack's face right before he gets back up onto his feet. This time he quickly rolls out of the ring and begins to scurry underneath the ring apron. A few second pass before he comes out holding a baseball bat covered in barbed wire. The fans cheer loudly as he holds it up in the air before tossing it into the ring. He slides back in just as Raven starts to attempt to get to his feet. Cactus then takes the barbed wire bat and smashes it over Raven's back before he can stand up! Raven lets out a guttural groan he goes back down, holding onto his back in pain right before Cactus Jack hits him again. Foley's wide grin gets even bigger as he rears back, letting Raven stir and get back up to his feet, when out of nowhere Jericho sprays both men with the fire extinguisher, momentarily blinding both of them. As the fire extinguisher disperses, Cactus Jack is still on his feet, stumbling around, unable to see. Chris Jericho charges at him and hits him with his patented Judas Affect. Cactus falls face down onto the mat and Jericho rolls him over for a quick cover; 1...; CACTUS JACK KICKS OUT AT 1!!! Unable to believe what just transpired, Jericho goes wide eyed for a few seconds before scurrying out of the ring. He reaches underneath the ring and pulls out a bottle of lighter fluid and a matches before he tosses them into the ring. But he's not done yet! He lifts the apron up and slowly beings to pull out a table, inch by inch, as the crowd begins to chant "We want tables!" repeatedly. Just as Chris finishes getting the table all the way out from underneath the ring, he looks up and sees Cactus Jack standing in the ring. The two lock eyes right before Cactus reaches down, picking up the barbed wire baseball bat that he previously had, along with the lighter fluid and matches Jericho had tossed into the ring. Cactus douses the barbed wire bat with the fluid and in one quick motion, uses the matches to set it on fire as he holds the flaming bat with both hands. He gestures for Chris to get back into the ring as both men stare intensely at each other. Then, out of nowhere, Jericho tosses his hands up in the air and the cameras catch him audibly saying something to Cactus Jack. "Whatever. You win, you sick son of a bitch!" Then to everyone's surprise Chris Jericho turns and begins to walk up the rampway, leaving the match as the crowd jeers him. Just as Jericho is making his exit, Raven starts to stir, slowly getting back up to his feet as Cactus Jack turns his attention over to him. Cactus rears back and clocks Raven over the head with the fiery barbed wire bat. The fire momentarily engulfs Raven's face but turns into a tuft of smoke as he smack the back of his head on the mat, blood dripping down his face and onto the canvas from the barbed wire. With a sick, sadistic smile etched across his face, Cactus Jack drops the baseball bat and covers Raven; 1...2...3!!! WINNER: CACTUS JACK |
STEPHEN DeANGELIS: Here is your winner, CACTUS JACK!
JOEY STYLES: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! The mayhem! The chaos! If there was ever any doubt that Extreme Championship Wrestling was back, may they be extinguished! Pardon the pun!
JOEL GERTNER: Barely Legal may go down as one of the most violent blood sacrifices in American history.
JOEY STYLES: It's Cactus Jack who reigns victorious here in tonight's main event! Jericho taking the high-road and leaving because things got too violent!
JOEL GERTNER: Quite possibly the smartest thing anyone did all night.
JOEY STYLES: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining us for Barely Legal! It's been a historic night, but this was just the tip of the iceberg! Join us for the first episode of ECW Anarchy when we stream live on Max! WHAT A NIGHT!